Learning to Be Alone, Learning to Let Go — @Dragon-Taming Girl Sakura
The day my parents sent me off at the airport, I was the first to rush into the departure lounge without looking back. Not because I didn't want to see them again, but because I knew that a child who always looks back cannot go far.
Alone, I came to a foreign country carrying three 23 kg suitcases and a 20-jin (10 kg) backpack from China. I think this is something almost all international students experience: cooking your own meals, buying a week's worth of fruits, vegetables, and milk with your roommate from the supermarket, carrying 24 bottles of mineral water for three kilometers, and after a few weeks feeling your arms become as strong as a man's.
If you ask me whether I feel homesick or lonely abroad, I think nobody doesn't miss home. But since I'm here, I can't keep thinking about the way back. When homesick, I go to Tim Hortons to buy a large iced coffee and a burger. It feels just like when I was at home, so hungry that I wanted to go out for McDonald's—filling my stomach makes me forget about home. When homesick, I boil an egg and peel some corn, pretending it was made by my grandma for me to take to school and gnaw on at noon. It feels like life isn't all that different.
Studying at a university with a strong academic atmosphere changed my habitual procrastination. Every day, I want to do a little more, and then a little more. I want to finish everything before showering and sleeping, and then write 'no regrets' in my journal.
"At home, everything is easy; away from home, everything is hard." That was my grandma's advice when I left. "While your parents are alive, do not travel far; if you must travel, have a definite destination." Carefully hiding all my longing, not letting them worry, not saying I miss them—perhaps that is the only thing I can do for my family.
I know that in my future life, I will experience many farewells. Some people will be gone for a day, a month, a year, but some for a lifetime. I am still very young, and I am afraid of it happening, afraid I'll be caught off guard. So I want to, in the limited time, as much as possible, be a little nicer, and even nicer to those who love me. Perhaps doing so, God will be more merciful to me and spare me some of life's hardships.
Learned to be alone, learned to let go, and even learned to think.
These, perhaps, are the meaning of leaving home.
Taking Life Seriously — @Ma Zoutian
Learned to take life seriously.
Eat well. For every meal, from planning ingredients to plating and taking photos for memories, even when alone, eat well.
Exercise well. With a packed daytime schedule, get up at 5:30 every morning and go to the 24-hour gym.
Travel well. Travel hundreds or thousands of kilometers alone, book an Airbnb, put the camera tripod in the trunk, start the engine, and set off.
The gains from studying abroad are not just independence but also a serious attitude toward life. By my bedside, there is a jar of dried flowers, so I can fall asleep to their fragrance. Under the window, I have two pots of flowers that I remember to water every day, and maybe I whisper a few thoughts to them. Every morning after showering, I put on perfume, even though no one will enter my one-meter radius.
When it's time to rise, I rise—I was in the top 2%. When it's time to lower myself, I lower myself and settle, putting myself in the humblest position while working part-time. In the future, I can stand tall and stern, or bow my head under the eaves.
But I know many people, carrying the halo of being an international student, can rise but cannot lower themselves.
Used to Loneliness, Used to Bearing It Alone — @Liu Xiaochong
I remember one day cooking, when pouring black pepper I didn’t pay attention to the opening. I thought I was pouring from the side with holes, but it was actually the wide-open side. A thick layer of pepper covered the chicken breast, and I stared blankly at the dish. I knew it was inedible, but I couldn’t bear to throw it away: the meat had been defrosted the day before, I was exhausted when I got home at 6:30, and I hurriedly prepared dinner and lunch for the next day, not daring to rest because once I sat down, I wouldn’t want to get up. In the end, I rinsed the dish again and ate it with pickled vegetables.
After going abroad, I know that life is not easy. These past few years, I’ve gotten used to loneliness and used to bearing it alone. I’ve grown accustomed to having no one behind me as a backbone, and to making decisions without discussing with others.
I hoard my annual leave, afraid to use it. This March, I pulled a back muscle at the gym. To get out of bed, I had to roll onto my side, then endure sharp pain and push myself up with my elbow. After hesitating again and again, I didn’t take sick leave. I thought, I’ll save it up so I can stay a couple more days when I go back to China in one go.
I missed my brother’s college entrance exams, missed the birth of my niece, and might miss my sister’s wedding—missed so many precious moments.
Actually, after going abroad, many people ask you: "Do you choose to stay here or go back to China?" It's really hard to answer because you're facing a question of worldview and values.
After going abroad, I love my motherland even more and also see its problems more clearly. Watching the 70th anniversary military parade brought tears to my eyes. Hearing the phrase 'overseas wanderers' during the Spring Festival Gala stirred many emotions. During Chinese New Year, my whole family back home wore new clothes and video-called me. I was half-lying in bed, grinning and wishing them a happy new year… When I ended the call, I faced a room of solitude.
I have a strong desire to express myself, but to my parents, I only share good news, never the bad. Whenever I mention difficulties, I brush them off lightly. I just need to share the joy; the hardships beforehand are unnecessary for them to know. Someday, when they can rest assured, I’ll tell them those little stories from the past.
In my view, the definition of 'going abroad' varies. Some people just come to study, not financially independent. I've been through that phase too, and it was quite enjoyable. But when it really comes to survival, fighting alone, that's when I think you've truly gone abroad. And that bitterness, you simply can't experience it during the international student stage.
What has going abroad taught me? I think it taught me to cultivate myself, and to constantly ask my heart, what exactly do I want.
Erased the Life Track I Had Designed Before — @Yan Wumu
I don't know.
I only know that every time I go home, my parents look older, the family has undergone changes, and close friends have become strangers.
I only know that I will miss relatives’ weddings, miss family funerals. My best friend has to take antidepressants on time and retake the college entrance exam next year; another has a big gash on his forehead and didn’t get into his dream university. And I can’t be there for them. The girl I used to like spends her days chasing rich boys; the girl who used to like me says she misses me, and I’m powerless.
I only know that the streets and alleys around me are changing rapidly, but when I go out, I still habitually bring cash, still ride my own bicycle, and still don’t want to learn how to play Honor of Kings.
I want to attend a third-tier college, even a vocational school. But unfortunately, I missed that chance. The biggest impact of going abroad on me is probably erasing the life track I had designed before.
I often dream, and the dream is always that familiar scene—
At fifteen, I was woken up in the middle of the night by my parents. Excitedly, they told me: We’ve decided to send you abroad.
Just don't judge—@BrianRWang
Cities I've been to for study:
Chengdu, Hong Kong, Kaohsiung, San Francisco, Urbana (considered part of Greater Chicago).
In the past five years, I’ve also been to:
Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Wuxi, Suzhou, Changzhou, Nanjing, Hangzhou, Ningbo, Taipei, New York, Seoul, Washington–Northern Virginia, Dubai, Los Angeles, San Jose–Silicon Valley.
I am determined to explore more places of interest before 30. The Petra Valley in Jordan, Roman ruins in Tunisia, peaceful countryside churches in Northern Italy, and the South American highlands that inspired Neruda to write magnificent poems.
I can’t say exactly how I am better than classmates who stayed in China to attend Tsinghua or Peking University. Of course, I can confidently say that based on my undergraduate grades, research, and extracurricular activities, I would have had no problem getting into a direct PhD program at Qingbei.
I am also confident that everything I have achieved today is by no means 'easy' as some postgraduate entrance exam takers claim. During my undergraduate years, I studied math with the elite math class and physics with the top physics class.
But my heart remains unruffled in the face of any achievement or challenge. I am quite confident in this. Even if I haven't read ten thousand books, I have traveled ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers. And in any interview, I can confidently say that I can handle long-term overseas assignments.
Only by experiencing it can you know that all over the world, there are all kinds of wonderful lives and ways of living. Different people have different definitions and understandings of success and of life itself. This is something my 18-year-old self could never have understood or imagined.
Perhaps this is one of the things American universities and society have taught me. 'Just don't judge'—a mindset of diverse life values and orientations. Moreover, I've become clearer that to enjoy a more exciting life and create more wealth for society, you need both 'knowledge' and 'labor.' Be proficient in your studies, and be ready to face all challenges in your career.
I’ve Become More Likely to Do What I Want — Yulin Wu
I studied in the U.S. for five years, and personally, the biggest impact it had on me was: I’ve become more likely to do what I want! In the U.S., few professors or friends mock my ideas. Whatever I want to do, they think about how to help me, rather than telling me I can't. Professors are generally encouraging and never say my ideas are naive. In China, some teachers or elders are serious naysayers. I always feel that the environment abroad is relatively relaxed. This definitely helped me make the brave decision to start my own business later on.
As soon as I arrived in the U.S., the most common thing Chinese students said always began with 'my parents think...' It wasn't until my American friends kept asking me: Why do I let my parents make every decision for me? that I gradually realized: I really have to walk my own life path. Once I let go of that mental burden, my entire state of being changed.
On the other hand, another big impact was broadening my horizons. I think the most important thing about going abroad is learning about different cultures. Life is short. Wouldn’t it be a pity to be forever confined to a single cultural environment? After going to the U.S., you at least learn about American culture and its ways. Parroting others and blindly following trends is really scary. After going to the U.S., you will definitely have your own independent observations and understandings about anything American.
In short, I have never regretted my decision to go abroad! If conditions allow, I also encourage everyone to study abroad! It might truly become a turning point in your life.
Striving through education, different people strive in different ways:
I put in hard work during my study abroad, and others put in hard work in their own areas.
I gained from studying abroad, and others gain in their respective fields.
It’s impossible to say which gain is greater. It’s just that through studying abroad, you see the world in a different way. After going abroad and seeing the outside world, meeting many outstanding friends, I understood where I need to work harder.
It is a great regret if a person cannot realize their self-worth in life, but most people never even get the chance to discover their self-worth. Going abroad is a process of breaking and remaking yourself, leaving your comfort zone to face a new self, discover the life value you want to pursue, and then strive to achieve it. That is probably the meaning of studying abroad.
I don’t want to see all the scenery from just one place.
